A long time ago in a far away place there once lived a man called Jack The Ripper. Mr Jack wasn't such a nice bloke, he had these urges to kill and maim prostitutes. And he was never found. I'm not sure if he was the first, but he was definitely one of the first modern day serial killers.
For a few months olde London was thrown into panic as night time came about. People would be petrified that they would be Jack's next victim, and the most petrified of them all were the prostitutes. Nobody wanted to be near the prostitutes, and the prostitutes themselves kinda had a going out of business sale on.
So, last night I was at the pub and saw many hoodies running around, proving to themselves that Darwin's theory isnt working correctly. And it struck me...we dont need regulation, or Brussels, or Tony Blair to sort this out, heck, we dont even need any police.
Let's get Jack back.
But tweak him for the modern society, reprogram him to hoodie mode. Let him loose on modern London, with some modern weapons, and have him target hoodies for a couple of months.
I would be willing to wager sales of hoodies would plummet like Tony Blair's popularity. I would also wager that the next time I see a hoodie in my life it would be worn by the Grim Reaper, and not some Romford snot-nose.
They would all be cowering in fear, hiding in mommy's basement lest others point to them and cry "HIM!! He used to wear a HOODIE!!! RUN"
Now, who's going to vote for me? :-)
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5 comments:
Me!! I vote for you as Jack-the-new-Ripper. Let's hope Scotland Yard doesn't read this. ;)
I ONLY have good ideas, mwahahaha (Luke, I am your father...)
haha, just seen the google ads they chose for this post...sponsor a child mwahahahaha.
:)
Blegh, your time is wrong. It's 23h57 of the 29th but it shows as 14h57
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